


the best bagel

by kunnskat



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: CA: TWS Fix-It, Crack, Gen, Hydra, Team Tony Stark, The Cold Squad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2018-12-23 18:59:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11995986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunnskat/pseuds/kunnskat
Summary: Tony Stark takes assassins and turns them into his knights in shining whatever. Sometimes it is plaid, sometimes it is a ratty old t-shirt and sometimes it is a uniform.Hydra only cares about the first part, and they'd really like to know how he does it.





	the best bagel

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Cold](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10741239) by [AlexTheShipper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexTheShipper/pseuds/AlexTheShipper). 



> Nat is very sneaky, no one sees her take her place at the computer until Tony is already gone.

Pierce is in the middle of his monologue -- or at least they hope he is, it's starting to get a bit long and as much as they appreciate the time to get out of the situation, they also need some of this time to do other things to make the OP a success -- when Tony comes strolling in with a cup of coffee and a bagel. He takes a bite of it, very obviously ignoring the halting words coming from Pierce or the stares from those who can look his way, and hums in clear delight--

"I have got to get myself some more of this, this is the best bagel I've had in years and honey, trust me, I've had plenty."

"Stark," Pierce manages to hiss out like some angry cat bristling, getting ready to attack with claws out and all.

"Hey, man," Tony chirps back. "How's it going? You get some time to relax yet? I hear HYDRA has little to no benefits, bet you they're saving their money for the few of you that won't end in a blazing non-glory of a fire."

It must not have been the thing to say considering it immediately diverts the man from explaining his bad no-good evil plans as some sort of villain and brings a hissy fit he's apparently been waiting to spew out the moment he'd been revealed. Or something.

"Stop hiring our assassins!"

"...What?" It's not Tony that mumbles this, just one of the few in the background, and since when could they freely move again? And why haven't they run for it?

"Sir, I must request that you evacuate the building and remove the earpiece immediately," a voice startles all of them but Pierce and Tony, neither of whom seem to hear it, busy as they are staring at each other. One in outrage and the other in what appears to be confusion.

"I don't hire assassins," Tony does not break eye contact no matter how much he'd like to look away from this guy. He's being smart and people should be taking advantage of it. "I prefer sending my enemies to jail, but thanks for the offer, I'll be sure to send anyone in need your way."

He's not going to, but the sheer colors on Pierces face are so delightful that he can't help but poke the bear a little more. See if he can get more out of it.

"You--" Pierce splutters through an attempt at yelling at Tony but it's mostly useless because not one of them appear to understand him, and why are people not sneaking out yet, he's been giving them a ton of chances, what the fuck?

"Sir, we've got incoming. May I remind you that you have somewhere you need to be in an hour," is said quietly in his ear but fuck that, Tony knows showing off that he's communicating with JARVIS will show that Pierce has very little way out of this. It might've put a regular person in danger but this is JARVIS, he'll be fine.

"Thanks J, don't worry, I'll get there. Ask Nelson to meet me outside in twenty minutes?"

"Make it five," a familiar voice interrupts, filled with exasperation, one eye glaring at Tony and Pierce as Tony whirls around and grins massively.

"Well, if it isn't the good old deceased Director of SHIELD! That never sticks with any of you, does it? Good job, zombie-Fury, you made it to the next checkpoint after only one death!"

Fury doesn't even twitch, too bad he's gotten so used to it, but Pierce has apparently not had to deal with Tony Stark either often enough or too long ago, because he twitches visibly before speaking again, "--what, exactly, did you do to them? How did you beat them without your armor?"

Tony doesn't often fight without the armor, so he can't say for sure what Pierce appears to want to know, all he's been doing lately is recruiting people in need, pissing off his R&D people and waiting for any of the Avengers to need him.

"He's Iron Man," Fury answers, sasses really but it's not usually this noticeable, like he knows exactly what Pierce wants to know. "Apparently that means he's made of iron."

Tony laughs all the way outside.


End file.
